Mystery solved

The mystery of the urine smell on the third floor of my building was finally solved on Monday, and the smell was not due, as I had decided, to the broker that I loathe peeing in the stairwell on his way out as yet another way of being the most terrible person on earth. I should explain further.

A month or so prior to the end of a lease in a Manhattan apartment, brokers (who have keys to the apartment) have the right to start stopping by unannounced and at random any time they have clients to whom they want to show the apartment. So because the lease is up in my current apartment as of September 1, and I moved in on August 1 and didn't start working until August 10, I’ve seen A LOT of brokers and their clients. This was obviously extremely annoying and deterred me from ever sleeping in, as I knew I would just have my bedroom door opened by strangers at odd hours of the morning, which is (shocking, I know) not really my preferred method of being awakened. So I resented these brokers for obvious reasons, but there was one in particular whom I absolutely could not stand, and I will describe him now. He's probably 24, 5'3", consistently dressed like a homeless person (his uniform was basically a white wifebeater and black basketball shorts that fit him like gaucho pants. Ridiculous.), was always wearing headphones, and was the rudest and most inconsiderate little man EVER. And all of this while he was WORKING. So anyway, right, so I decided to blame the horrible smell on him, and to be honest, I'm a little disappointed he's been exonerated.

So, returning to the real culprit behind the smell, a hoarder was living on the 3rd floor of my building, and he had cats. Enough said. I came home after work on Monday to find that the usual smell had spread, and there was a trail of garbage and other odds and ends (books, VHS tapes, etc) littering the stairwell and leading down to a HUGE, already-full dumpster on the street outside my building. The man hadn't left the apartment in more than two years and had to be forcibly removed on Sunday by the CDC.

Anyway, things are good otherwise! Job is great, I'm moving out of this place next week, I’m excited about my new apartment and roommates, New York is fantastic, and I don't have a debilitating need to hoard things! Life is good.

Sorry!

Sorry sorry for not posting for so long and leaving you wondering if it was because work had sent me into a deep depression or some other equally grim fate had befallen me...

Not the case! I'm loving it-- my co-workers are all super-nice, and I've acclimated really easily this first week. Most of what I've been doing so far has been essentially internet-stalking companies to try to find contact information for their Marketing Directors. This sounds like it would be really easy, I know. It is not. Companies (we're talking huge national and even global corporations) put a lot of effort into preventing members of the public from being able to contact them, so getting the info I need requires a lot of googling and a fair amount of time on the phone: "Hi, my name is Abbie and I'm calling on behalf of Sony Pictures for their show blah blah blah to discuss a potential partnership opportunity and am hoping you can help me locate blah blah blah"

Anyway, I like it! Feels really good to finally be a contributing member of society rather than an unemployed vagrant with a suitcase sitting in Starbucks every day. I'm actually down to 2-3 visits a week now; NYC Starbucks' net sales definitely took a nosedive in August as a result.

In other news, I've set up where I'll be living from Sept 1 until August 2012! I'm moving to a 3-bedroom on the Upper East Side and couldn't be more excited about it. My two new roommates (Micah, 27, is from FL, and Christina, 22 is from CA) both work in marketing too, which is a funny coincidence. The apartment is small but was just completely renovated, so everything is new from floor to ceiling. And the views from the roof are fantastic. We're having a housewarming party up there in September!

"Last Day of Freedom"

Today has been a productive day. 

I woke up around 8:30, and by 9:30 had won the daily struggle I fight with myself to go for a run. I've developed a semi-successful system of tricking myself into getting behind the idea of publicly sweating and struggling through four miles of exercise by picking an "exciting" location that I will "visit" as my turn-around point. Today's was the Brooklyn Bridge. Unfortunately what I thought was the Brooklyn Bridge turned out to be the Williamsburg Bridge. So rather than just running the easily accessible, appropriately-located bridge (which is what any reasonable person would have done), I decided to forge ahead and run to the landmark I had intended. Six miles, a very thorough and disorienting tour of Chinatown, and an hour and 15 minutes later, I was home. I also broke my headphones and narrowly avoided de-ear-ing myself when my cord got caught on a cyclist's handlebars as we passed each other on the bridge. Beautiful views though.

After my morning misadventure, I ate, showered, and headed out to run a few errands. I got new headphones at Apple and then shower shoes (plastic flip-flops) at Old Navy. The shower shoes are an unfortunate necessity: somehow, even after yesterday's apartment-scrubbing, the bottoms of my feet are still gross by the time I've walked across the apartment to my room after showering. And speaking of things that are unfortunate, the clearance room in Old Navy. Enough said.

Now I'm sitting in a Starbucks in SoHo watching drenched tourists hurry by, huddled under too-small umbrellas, plastic bags, skateboards, etc. The skateboarders are actually probably not tourists.

I start work tomorrow! I'm really nervous...

The Photos You've All Been Waiting for

I've lived here for a week now, and today I finally found the time to really clean the apartment. Like, disinfected-clean. As a result (and not surprisingly), I now like it here much more.


My bedroom-- the closet is tiny (only good thing about having only 1/4 of my clothes up here with me)

The living room/kitchen/dining area




We have a washer and dryer! But the bathroom is miniscule.

So since I'm now feeling more comfortable in my August apartment, it naturally follows that for the past hour, I've been listening to what I'm 99% sure is a really destructive domestic dispute between my upstairs neighbors. There's also a chance it could be a really questionable dance party involving lots of stomping, screaming, and throwing of things, which is the only reason I haven't called the cops. Welcome to New York.

I'm looking for my permanent apartment (hopefully with less angry neighbors) this week too, and have a lead on the Upper East Side that I think might be a really good fit. Here's hoping finding my next apartment will go more smoothly and successfully than finding this one went.

P.S. Spotted on my run this afternoon: a hipster (male/mid-20s) walking down 3rd Ave carrying a GIANT squirrel/rat/other creature that's ill-suited for domestication on his shoulder. Now you understand why I'm scared of these people: If you think walking around NYC like a pirate with an oversized rodent on your shoulder (instead of a talking parrot) is a good thing to do, then what won't you do?

Employment! & Apartment Update

Great news! After three weeks of interviewing and generally running around nyc, I'm employed!! Just got the call this morning. I'm starting as an intern and then they're reassessing my performance within 3 months and hopefully offering me a permanent position within the agency. I'll be working on the strategic alliances team, which means I'll be assisting with the business end of the various partnerships the agency conceives between its many client companies (e.g. NBC Universal, TBS, AMC (MadMen!!), PetsMart, New Balance, and Dunkin' Donuts).

I start on the 10th! The timing couldn't be better-- I've pretty much reached my limit for daytime hours (when it's too hot to walk around outside) spent alone roasting in my apartment and trying to think of ways to entertain myself.

Speaking of which, I'm not super-enthusiastic about my current apartment. It's not awful, and as Kathleen pointed out recently, "I love how low your tolerance for sketchy is. I don't know how you're surviving in New York." It's just not the right neighborhood for me. For example, the area (east village/alphabet city) is populated in large part by several different types of people of which I am afraid: the overly-tattooed, people who look like murderers, and grunge hipsters. And the 4th-floor landing of my building smelled like urine today. I don't want to talk about it.

My front door

Views from the roof

Geography Lessons & Maine Lobster

I've had a nice last few days. With the stress of establishing where I would be living for the month of August behind me, I think karma has finally kicked in in my favor.

On Friday, I visited four new states and filled some major (and pretty embarrassing) holes my early education (I never formally learned the geography of the US). I now know that New Jersey is south, not north, of New York, as well as many other critical geographical facts involving the Northeast. Also, the Hamptons are on Long Island. Who knew? Don't answer that.

Bridget, Rob, Doobs (David Doobin), and I spent the weekend at Bridget's family's summer house in York Beach, Maine. Maine is gorgeous, and it actually does get really hot there in the summer, in spite of the clothing you may, if you are me, think to pack. On Saturday, I consumed more lobster in 6 hours than I had in my 22 years prior. Here's the thing about lobster: peeling it yourself is a buzzkill. It's also depressing, because unlike other expensive foods that come in small portions, you and your lobster spend a long time together before any eating happens and you find out just how little food is actually inside that huge shell. I recommend lobster rolls, but know that you'll have to specifically ask for a plastic bib with a lobster on it, for which your waitress will probably judge you. Worth it though. You've gotta have that lobster bib.


Here we are with the local (famous?) lighthouse, The Nubble.

Manhattan real estate will be the death of me.

As of 3 hours ago, I have an apartment for August!! Temporarily no longer homeless! That being said, finding an apartment in Manhattan is a truly terrible, multi-step process that I will now lay out for your reading pleasure:

1. (Friday 7/22) Get to bottom of Pravesh situation.

2. Cry. Wallow in self-pity.

3. Pull self together. Call a broker. Leave message. Hear nothing for 3 days. Stress.

4. Call broker again. Explain what you’re looking for, be told it doesn't exist in your price range and to look on craigslist for short-term sublets.

5. Despair. Craigslist is sketchy.

6. Look on craigslist for short-term sublets. Find two viable, non-sketchy possibilities. Email posters of both. Hear back immediately, reply immediately, schedule viewings of both for the following evening. Get really excited about option 1.

7. Wake up following morning (Tuesday) to email from girls in option 1 informing you that they already chose someone the night before. Option 1 no longer an option.

8. Get really bummed out. Try to force self to get excited about option 2. Semi-succeed.

9. (7pm Tuesday) Go to look at option 2. Like it. Become emotionally invested. Visualize your clothing hanging in the enormous closet. Enter into verbal agreement that you will take it. Breathe sigh of relief.

10. (Wednesday) Wake up to email from girls in option 2 informing you that roommate won’t be moving out/subletting after all. "Best of luck" though, which will totally alleviate your disappointment. Ha.

11. Despair. Obsessively refresh Manhattan craigslist sublets/temporary housing page. Email 15 people with potentially acceptable August sublet postings.

12. Wednesday. Set up 8pm viewing of Hell’s Kitchen (HK) 3-bedroom and 9pm viewing of Upper East Side (UES) 2-bedroom.

13. Go to 4pm informational interview. Rock it. Too bad it was only informational and they don’t actually have any open positions.

14. Get email response from another apartment option informing you that viewing of 3-br apt in Flatiron District is going on for 30 more minutes and to text Tom for the address.

15. Text Tom.

16. Start walking towards Flatiron district (40 mins away).

17. 20 mins later (5:20 pm), still nothing from Tom. Abandon ship. Head to nearest Starbucks, incidentally 3 blocks from UES 2-br you’re seeing at 9.

18. Sit. Drink questionable Starbucks beverage. Regret purchase. Talk on phone.

19. 7:20 pm. Start walking to HK apartment (35 mins away).

20. 7:25 pm. Email Matt, poster of UES apartment you’re viewing at 9, asking for his phone number in case you decide to take HK apartment so you don’t waste his time or yours later that night. Congratulate self for being so considerate.

21. 7:40 Receive email from Matt with phone number.

22. 7:41 Receive email from girls in HK apartment cancelling on you due to fact that they’ve just chosen their subletter.

23. 7:41:01 Become angry.

24. 7:41:02 Turn around.

25. 7:42 Text Matt asking if you can just come now/in 20 mins.

26. Call parents to complain loudly and bitterly.

27. Perpetuate Angry New Yorker stereotype to group of tourists, in spite of not actually being a New Yorker. But definitely being angry.

28. Hear back from Matt to come at 8:45. Continue being angry.

29. Eat something. Try to calm down.

30. 8:45 pm. See Matt’s apartment on UES. Love it. Want it.

31. Learn that Matt is choosing within 24 hrs between 6 people, of which you are one. Feel cautiously optimistic: surely karma is on your side (see steps 1-28).

32. Just to be safe, email posters of 5 more listings on craigslist. Go to bed.

33. Wake up to 1 response. East Village, 3-br, posted by girl named Kitty.

34. (Thursday—today) Set up 1:30 meeting to view Kitty’s apartment.

35. Take subway downtown.

36. Emerge from subway, running late. Against better judgment, decide to take bus remaining 1.5 miles to apartment. Learn why bus sucks so much.

37. 2:00 pm. Arrive at apartment 30 mins late, thanks to unfortunate bus decision.

38. Look at apartment. Like, not love, it. In order to buy more time during which to hopefully hear back from Matt, say you need to talk to your dad first.

39. 2:15 pm. Leave, walk around, discuss with parents. Text Matt to try to get him to give you an answer.

40. Realize phone is dying. Walk 35 mins to SoHo Apple store to charge it.

41. 4:40 pm. Hear from Kitty that another girl is unexpectedly coming to view apartment in 20 mins. Ask Kitty for first right of refusal.

42. Request denied. Panic. Start running back to apartment.

43. Look ridiculous.

44. 5:03 pm. Out of breath. Arrive at apartment to find other potential subletter standing outside. Break news to her that you’re taking apartment.

45. Get yelled at. Hold ground. Apologize to irrational yelling person for situation that is not your fault. Empathize, given steps 1-44.

46. 5:12 pm. Finally get rid of irrational yelling girl. Breathe sigh of relief.

47. 5:15 pm. Greet Kitty. Write and hand over check. Sign agreement.

48. 5:45 pm. Hear from Matt. Get offered his (UES) apartment. Have to turn it down.

49. Remember that while you now have an apartment for August, you still need one for September. And all the months after that.

50. Enter subway. Sit across from bawling, inconsolable infant. Empathize.